It's been a very 'mixed up' week so far.

After attending an amazing Buddhist meditation course on Saturday about the difference between Love and Attachment - and for the first time ever, doing a concentrated meditation - I have had a lot on my mind. Especially at a time when ideally I would like nothing more than to have NOTHING on my mind. We had to focus our thoughts on someone that we wanted to 'love' - imagine my disgust at myself when I failed to complete the meditation because my mind was just too busy.

I have allocated time later this week, when my work is done, to concentrate on this meditation again and to attempt to complete it. Kelsang Tsalden did say that it was one of the hardest meditations so I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself since I am really a newbie at this meditation stuff.

And of course... Fan Expo (Toronto) happened over the weekend. I spent half the weekend chiding myself for feeling so down that I wasn't actually there. (Remember back when I was in Top Geek all those months ago, that was my ultimate goal?) --- Turns out, upon reflection, that all I'm feeling is attachment. Attachment to the fans, the guests, and a little bit of jealousy that I wasn't there myself.

I go through this with every single convention that happens.

Every. Single. Time. 

So yes, I have to go through this stupid cycle of emotions again this coming weekend. Because Dragon*Con is happening in Atlanta.

However, I'm thankful that I've busied myself this weekend with plenty of activity so that I can at least try and focus on things that are really more important. Yes, I'd like to be at the convention seeing friends etc, but the reality is that I live in a country that is just too far away to make these things possible (and do not have a disposable income that can allow traveling around the world for these events) - and right now, I have to concentrate on saving money for the most important event of my life (our wedding).

So yes, onto this weekend. Friday evening we have Haydn and Kaylie's Engagement Party. Yay! A time to come together to celebrate two gorgeous young people getting engaged - and to spend some time with C's family.  On Saturday morning I'm taking my gorgeous grandmother out to do some errands and have morning tea with her. Saturday afternoon I welcome Team AXF to AXFHQ for a bit of a gathering as we prepare to walk 10km for SA-YES on Sunday in this years Bridge To Brisbane.  Post walk, I don't have much time to go home, get changed, and head to The Gabba to watch the Brisbane Lions play their final game for season 2012 --- and somewhere in between all of that... I have to hand deliver some Wedding Save The Dates.

Also, if there is time I wouldn't mind taking some photos. Somewhere. 

So hopefully, I won't have time to feel sorry for myself that I'm not going to yet another convention.

Do you know what would help this though? Better guests at the upcoming Australian Conventions. Just saying. 

[ Sponsor AXF as they walk 10km for SA-YES in this weekends Bridge To Brisbane ]

'How come you're not here!?!'

My amazing friend Roileigh is badassed. Sending her on my behalf to get this was one of the best decisions I ever made.