Wednesday, October 03, 2012

My own personal theme song

For the longest time I was defined as a 'nerd', a 'geek', as someone who you really shouldn't associate with because I was different from the rest. Over the last few years I have really discovered within myself that it's actually okay to be different from everyone else. That it doesn't matter that you're different.

We are all individuals and should all be unique.

I know that in the last twelve months especially since starting to learn Buddhist teachings... I think I've even found a stronger sense of self. All those people who used to berate me back in the day for being something that they found to be 'not normal' - I can't even imagine that half of those people are living their dreams.

In fact, I can tell you with great certainty that they probably aren't. 

Gillian Anderson puts it perfectly into perspective:
"When I think of normal, I think of mediocrity… and mediocrity scares the fuck out of me."

In fact. I am so so so thankful that I found this strength that showed me that my 'less than normal' ways were in fact quite normal, that there are hundreds of thousands of other fandom geeks out there. By embracing this geekiness I have been able to really overcome some great difficulties that I always had within me. They may seem small and insignificant now, but they will always be my demons.

An example of one of those demons (for me) is public speaking. By throwing Aussie X-Files Fans @ Facebook fundraisers it brought me out of my shell, taught me that the only thing that matters is that I have the confidence in myself - and then everything else will follow.

Believe me, they have followed. Some of my wildest dreams have come true in the last few years since I've been working on this strength. They continue to happen. They are unfolding in ways that I never even began to imagine when I started out on this road.


  1. Sandi,

    It's wonderful to hear you're comfortable in your own skin. Like you, I've struggled at times in my life because my interests didn't exactly fit into "the norm" either. Many times, I'd give into peer pressure (not in a bad way) so that I would fit in. Eventually, I grew up and found the "real me" buried deep inside. As I often say, "I came to terms with my inner geekdom."

    Thankfully, I discovered other people out there who are not afraid to be different or break away from the accepted. To me, everyone I meet like this is a breath of fresh air. Your quote from Gillian seems to sum that up perfectly!

    It's more than okay to be you! In fact, I feel sorry for anyone who feel pressure to pretend to be what they are not.

    Thanks for the inspirational post!

    1. I tried to conform, and found myself alienated further. So I figured, fuck being a conformist - and 'go with it'. I'm so glad that I did because it's opened up my life to receive amazing opportunities. Granted I have had to work VERY hard to get them, but it has been worth every single sacrifice I have had to make. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. :)