Friendship: I'm No Expert... But...

As I sit here... starting to type this blog... I feel a combination of melancholy and relief at the same time. An odd combination, but how I am feeling right this second. This will take me a little while to get down so please bear with me.

People come into our lives for a reason. Sometimes it is a blissful journey, other times it is cyclonic. It doesn't always make sense. Sometimes these people have to leave our lives.

Many many years ago, I had two friends. Two. And even those friends I had to fight to keep. I loathed myself as a person and people around me bullied me for a myriad of reasons. I was different. Different people were not seen as 'normal'. Throughout primary school and a good chunk of high school, I was picked on - so...  bullying is not something that I will tolerate within any friendship - either my own friendships, or those friendships I see around me in my circle of friends. 

Over the years for those of you who know me, I have learned to embrace my 'originality' and not be a conformist, or a 'normal' person. Why would you want to be ordinary, when you can be extraordinary.  


I will stand up for my friends and defend them until the day I die. 

What I won't stand for, is my own thoughts and motives being questioned by my friends. Sure, I expect them to call me out if I'm being a twat - but if I am doing everything in my power to keep a friendship in tact, I don't want that questioned every single day. 


Subconsciously, as I sit here thinking about everything that has happened within my friendships over the past 18 months: This has been a long time coming. 

Friendship should be unconditional. 

Friendship should be mutually beneficial, respectful and it should be real. 

Honesty is another thing that is paramount in forming strong friendships. Not having exceedingly outrageous expectations of each other... and a very important fact, that you treat your friends as you yourself wish to be treated. 

If things in your life are turbulent and you can go to your friends to discuss the issues - that will help you feel less burdened. If you can't, find someone you can trust to talk to. Do not ever lash out at your friends when things are bad. Granted... a good friend will know that something is wrong and offer assistance in ways that they can... but they won't appreciate you taking out your anger and frustration on them.

I'll remember the good times, much better than dwelling on what has lead me down this path. 

Just remember that ultimately, if you can't be happy - you need to find the right time to draw the line in the sand.

My own personal theme song

For the longest time I was defined as a 'nerd', a 'geek', as someone who you really shouldn't associate with because I was different from the rest. Over the last few years I have really discovered within myself that it's actually okay to be different from everyone else. That it doesn't matter that you're different.

We are all individuals and should all be unique.

I know that in the last twelve months especially since starting to learn Buddhist teachings... I think I've even found a stronger sense of self. All those people who used to berate me back in the day for being something that they found to be 'not normal' - I can't even imagine that half of those people are living their dreams.

In fact, I can tell you with great certainty that they probably aren't. 

Gillian Anderson puts it perfectly into perspective:

"When I think of normal, I think of mediocrity… and mediocrity scares the fuck out of me."

In fact. I am so so so thankful that I found this strength that showed me that my 'less than normal' ways were in fact quite normal, that there are hundreds of thousands of other fandom geeks out there. By embracing this geekiness I have been able to really overcome some great difficulties that I always had within me. They may seem small and insignificant now, but they will always be my demons.

An example of one of those demons (for me) is public speaking. By throwing Aussie X-Files Fans @ Facebook fundraisers it brought me out of my shell, taught me that the only thing that matters is that I have the confidence in myself - and then everything else will follow.

Believe me, they have followed. Some of my wildest dreams have come true in the last few years since I've been working on this strength. They continue to happen. They are unfolding in ways that I never even began to imagine when I started out on this road.

Yesterday I attended another amazing day meditation course put on by the Brisbane Tara Kadampa Buddhist Centre focusing on Inner Strength.

Without going into too much detail - the amazing Kelsang Tsalden tought us that in the search for inner strength we must let go of the fear and the 'what if' in any situation and just accept that this is our fate - once you accept whatever is thrown at you, you will be able to handle any situation. She said that all living beings have suffering at some stage in their life - no one is perfect - and the sooner you realise that everyone has something that they are struggling with, and you are able to approach all living beings with compassion, kind heart and strong mind - you will develop inner strength, and will find an amazing sense of inner peace.

Her whole teaching was based on the book 'Eight Steps To Happiness' by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso - which I am reading right now. I cannot wait to really take on board the teaching from yesterdays course, and hopefully be able to successfully practice the meditation we learned.

At one point during the lesson - Tsalden was talking about not being afraid to use your imagination. That without imagination, ideas wouldn't be born, and would cease to exist. Without an architect designing a house, planning it out, it would not happen. In a sense, pretty much my mantra that I took from The X-Files of what can be imagined, can be achieved. You could not wipe the smile off my face during this part of the lesson. : )

Your body is a wish-fulfilling jewel.