Thursday, November 01, 2012

Friendship: I'm No Expert... But...

As I sit here... starting to type this blog... I feel a combination of melancholy and relief at the same time. An odd combination, but how I am feeling right this second. This will take me a little while to get down so please bear with me.

People come into our lives for a reason. Sometimes it is a blissful journey, other times it is cyclonic. It doesn't always make sense. Sometimes these people have to leave our lives.

Many many years ago, I had two friends. Two. And even those friends I had to fight to keep. I loathed myself as a person and people around me bullied me for a myriad of reasons. I was different. Different people were not seen as 'normal'. Throughout primary school and a good chunk of high school, I was picked on - so...  bullying is not something that I will tolerate within any friendship - either my own friendships, or those friendships I see around me in my circle of friends. 

Over the years for those of you who know me, I have learned to embrace my 'originality' and not be a conformist, or a 'normal' person. Why would you want to be ordinary, when you can be extraordinary.  

I will stand up for my friends and defend them until the day I die. 

What I won't stand for, is my own thoughts and motives being questioned by my friends. Sure, I expect them to call me out if I'm being a twat - but if I am doing everything in my power to keep a friendship in tact, I don't want that questioned every single day. 

Subconsciously, as I sit here thinking about everything that has happened within my friendships over the past 18 months: This has been a long time coming. 

Friendship should be unconditional. 

Friendship should be mutually beneficial, respectful and it should be real

Honesty is another thing that is paramount in forming strong friendships. Not having exceedingly outrageous expectations of each other... and a very important fact, that you treat your friends as you yourself wish to be treated. 

If things in your life are turbulent and you can go to your friends to discuss the issues - that will help you feel less burdened. If you can't, find someone you can trust to talk to. Do not ever lash out at your friends when things are bad. Granted... a good friend will know that something is wrong and offer assistance in ways that they can... but they won't appreciate you taking out your anger and frustration on them.

I'll remember the good times, much better than dwelling on what has lead me down this path. 

Just remember that ultimately, if you can't be happy - you need to find the right time to draw the line in the sand.


  1. Sandi - sometimes I feel like you could be my Aussie twin. Reading your story, it could have easily been me writing it. Being different often makes us targets of others who don't understand uniqueness makes the world go round. This is especially evident when you're young and peer pressure sets in. Having been in similar situations, I know what you're going through. I know you don't know me extremely well, but I want to offer my friendly ear half way around the world if you need someone to talk to that is uninvolved in your situation and will keep anything you say in confidence.

    Agent Summer

    1. Thanks. Just hearing you say that is enough. :-)